I returned home a week ago now, and I’ve no idea where the
time has gone!

Thanks to the guys at Hien Gericke, and the girls from J and
L Motorcycles for the warm welcome, although it has to be
said they (at J and L) did comment on my personal hygiene -
What do you expect from 19 days in the same clothes…

And to the washing machine I must go, got the rally suit
cleaned. I’ll re-phrase that, got the inners cleaned and had
a go with the pants, but to be honest I think the outer suit
is destined to bare the scares of the trip for the rest of
it’s life.

Helen Pearson (ITV Border) came round to hear about my
exploits, and I managed to have a live interview on Radio
Cumbria too - I’m not too sure how to take the comment “a
face that looks like it’s done 9000 miles..” but hey ho,

I think I’ve managed to get back into some sort of normality
now, during last week I was phasing in and out at times. I
slept for two full afternoons and still managed to get a
good nights sleep to - must have needed it.

Back to work this week, and time to put the adventure behind
me, although I still have a tent that needs dried out, and
cleaned of those pesky flies that plagued me in Hungary. The
bike has been cleaned (a whole afternoon!) and is looking
forward to some new oil later this week in the expert hands
of J and L. Amazing really that I didn’t have a single
problem with the bike (just my auxiliary circuit - and that
wasn’t Yamahs’s doing!, Oh and the BMW power take off
socket)), despite the abuse it received in Eastern Europe.
To those who would question it’s ability as a long range
tourer I say this - half the price of a GS, and twice the
bike.

The mileage game was won by Andy McColgan who’s 7733 guess
was within 414 miles of the correct mileage of 8146, Second
place went to Paul Matthewson with a guess of 8733. For
clarity here are the next five closest;

Willie Richards - 8865

Peter Lupton - 8925.5

Andy Horrocks - 9247

Dick Beevers - 9324

Roger Burke - 9324

Thanks to all that donated.

I’ve an open invitation to any biker out there who would be
interested in embarking on a challenge in 2010 to get in
touch - darren@smokingtailpipes.com I have some ideas to
work through, so if you fancy a challenge let me know. Don’t
be put off by the time, distance, if you think your up to it
etc. it will be challenge, but there’s no reason why you
wouldn’t succeed.

Darren.

N45 18.813 W00 33.454

Yipeee.. I’m west again.

After a gruelling 1500 mile trek today , beginning in France
at 05:00, then heading through Spain to Portugal and
completing the challenge just before mid day, I turned north
again and the long ride home. The plan was to take the
Tunnel then stop off in London to meet with the ChildLine
people. The problem is that the Chunnel is shut and all the
Chunnel traffic is being put onto Ferries, hence there is no
available space. The only available ferry is the Amsterdam
Newcastle ferry - So I’m booked on that for Sunday night.
This gave me a long way to go in a very short time.

I did try to break up the day with some sleep, but again
there was no room in any of the hotels I tried, so it was an
overnight ride to Amsterdam. At around 02:00 I was so tired
that I pulled into a rest plaza, found one with a kids play
area so it didn’t smell of, er, mens number 1’s. Anyway, I
rode the bike into the playground, and curled up around the
nice warm engine to get some ‘rough’ sleep, a whole hour and
a half, but it was enough.

Boy it took it out of me, I had to stop every hour or so,
just to revive my mind and body. What with Deer playing
chicken with me and Owls having a go too it was an eventful
night, but I persevered and made it to Amsterdam for 13:30,
alive and well. As long as I didn’t sit down I thought I
could stay awake.

The Ferry was the usual bunch, man and wife just returning
from a week in central Europe, the ubiquitous BMW GS’s and
some custom bikes, not one looked as if it had done any
mileage, The Tenere still caked in the dust and dirt of
Romania. The tyres are knackered, must have been those awful
roads and the assault I made upon them - in any case I see a
new pair in the near future…

My motorcycle gear is starting to take on the appearance of
Pig Pen (that character in Peanuts?), it can both stand up
on it’s own, and make it’s own way to the bike, this was
very useful today at times. Everything is going to get a
thoroughly good clean when I get home, and the bike gear
will need to be done before Sue gets back from work, or it
might just end up in the bin!

Lots of people have asked me along the way if I’d do it
again, well It’s been hard, not so much physically, I was
read for that, but mentally and emotionally it has been very
tough, I’m not sure if that ever showed in the Blogs? I have
some ideas for another trip that include Nordkap and
Gibraltar. One big change though, I wouldn’t do it alone
again. I’ve been very lucky, and I am very lucky in that I
have Sue, and if it wasn’t for her support and reason at the
end of the phone things may well have been different. If
there is a next time, there will be others to share the
experience and provide some support. If you would be
interested in such a trip, then use the Contact Us buttons
on the main website. It takes a lot of planning a trip like
this, so it would probably be in 2010, especially if there
is a group as the H&S would have to covered off more
thoroughly.

Well, Monday will bring me down to earth with a bit of a
jolt, for the first time in nearly three weeks I won’t need
to worry about where to sleep, to eat and ensuring the bike
and rider are ready for the following day. Before the trip,
all my spare time was taken up with planning, checking,
double checking, thinking, worrying, you name it I thought
of it, and what would happen if it went wrong, and how I
would deal with it, and what I would do if I couldn’t yada
yada yada,,,,,,,

I’ve still got some time off, so I might just dust of the
TTR and have a day or two on the Green Lanes, put all this
new experience to the test.

Throughout this trip, can I thank everyone that has made
comments, whether they passed the moderator or not, and to
all those who took the time to send a mail of support. It’s
been a great help, I hope that some of you have lived the
trip with me. Why not register and leave a comment? As long
as it’s clean I’ll make sure it’s added - It would be good
to listen to the good and the bad.

Keep popping back, I’ll make sure I update the website soon,
and the blog will still get the odd update

And from my last ferry ride, thank you and Good Night

11:54 BST, I crossed the border into Portugal, I’ve done it,

The Mileage Game is now closed to entries,

I can tell you that I’ve covered around 6704 kms, but the
total won’t be known until I finally arrive back in
Carlisle.

Now to try and get back into the UK, with the tunnel closed
and the ferries taking up the load I fear it may well be
another challenge.

Adeus

Just north of the Spanish border.

Well that was the biggest mileage day of the trip, nearly
700 miles before the rain turned the road into a river and
my visor misted over , of course this was all in pitch black
dark night too.. I could only manage about 70kmh safely, and
with trunks coming up behind me at closer to 100kmh I
figured it was time to call it a day, so to find a hotel. I
opted for the first one to show up on the GPS list and what
a choice fantastic little place with a top notch restaurant
next door. Had a quick shower and went for some food, Filet
steak and the cheese board, all washed down with a nice
glass of the red stuff. What more could a man ask for.

It’s funny, but a year ago I had a real downer on the
French, stems from the fact they used to burn our sheep or
blockade the ferry ports every time they had an internal
dispute. Funny thing is though, on the two occasions I’ve
been in this country with the bike, they have shown nothing
but kindness and have been thoroughly helpful throughout.
Take this place, I told the owner I would be leaving early
and she’s just brought me up a breakfast tray and a flask of
coffee - I never asked for it, she just did it. When I asked
about somewhere off the street to put the bike, she gave me
the key to her garage and told me to put it in there for the
night, and leave the key at reception in the morning when I
leave. I only asked to get the thing off the street! Off all
my experiences with hotels and getting the bike secured, the
French have come out on top. I never thought I would ever
say that.

Italy , on the other hand, can burn in the depths of
whatever lies beneath. It’s a lovely county, with good wine
and food, but the people (in general, I did meet one or two
OK people) , everything is just such a competition, and they
care little for anyone else but themselves. Well, they are
welcome to each other.

The next blog will be from Portugal, and the end of the
challenge. All being well I will have completed the
challenge in less than 17 days, if you remember day 1
started at 14:00, so really, that is where day 18 begins. I’ll
still keep the blog going for a while as I reflect on the
trip. I will also put up a full report on the web with some
pictures and maybe a little bit of video. Talking of which,
did you see the piece ITV Border did on me? It’s available
to see on the web at

http://www.itvlocal.com/border/news/?player=BOR_News_15&void=228175

So as I sit here at 22:30 in my hotel room, listening to the
rain and contemplating the last day of the challenge, then
how best to get home now that the Chunnel is out of action,
I’m starting to reflect on the last three weeks. It was
always going to be a trip for me to see a bit of Europe, but
most importantly, it was about me finding out more about me,
and I think I’ve learned allot. They say no man is an
island, and it’s true. Throughout all the countries, rich,
poor, safe, not-so-safe, hot , cold we all have three things
in common. We all need food, shelter and companionship, when
you take one of those away then you really have to reach
inside yourself to get through. Some of us are lucky enough
to have all three (and much much more), some don’t.

From France, on a wet Friday evening,

Bonsoir

They cannot keep inside of their own lanes, even when
something else is there.

They have no concept of concentrating on driving, at least
50% of them are on the phone, or looking at the passenger in
some conversation (either way they don’t bother looking at
the road)

1 in 3 cars has bodywork damage

They have no respect for anyone else’s safety on the road,
usually driving a few feet from the back of the bike, and
when they do pass, the ’s cut
right back in front of you, within a few feet of the front
of the bike.

I have to say, in summing up these drivers that they are the
biggest bunch of ’s in the continent.

And another thing, fuel is the most expensive yet, 1.4 Euros
a litre, then you have Dick Turpin in his little booth when
you want to leave the Autostrada - 37 Euros to travel from
Ancona to France!

I don’t like the hotel owners either, miserable bunch of
gits. Goes a bit like this;

Mr knackered looking traveller : “avete una stanza Liberia
?”

Miserable git : “How many nights?”

Mr knackered looking traveller : “one”

Miserable git : “How many people?”

Mr knackered looking traveller : “one”

Miserable git : “no, hotel full”

This was the same script at 5 hotels

Why, why I ask do they go through this if they have no
rooms, I’ll tell you why, because they do, they are just too
lazy to provide for one night that’s why. I despise people
like this, they are unhelpful, they should have just told me
to go away, at least they would have shown themselves for
what they are.

In Prague I had a fantastic hotel, with nice pleasant staff,
good food and for 30 Euros a night. Last night I paid 80
Euros for a dump with no food and a hot room.

Thank you, I’ve had my rant now, I can calm down and enjoy
the run through the south of France.

Day 16

N44 17.831 E009 22.131 76 meters

Last night I boarded the ferry to Ancona in Italy. At the
port I bumped into a Guy from Liverpool (going by the
accent) called, I think Gary. Now Gary has just been to
Greece for a family wedding and his trip here was a little
fraught to say the least. He drove from the UK down through
Europe, into Italy and the port of Bari. From there he took
a fast cat to Albania, where, upon entry, he was told (he
didn’t have his V5 docs) that he could leave the country but
his car would have to stay! Like any normal person is going
to agree to that. No, Gary persisted and with no help from
the Albanian authorities managed to get some ownership proof
through to them. As if this wasn’t bad enough, they then
made him go thought the country with an escort - who had
less idea than Gary did about navigating in the place!

And the moral of the story - remember your V5 when you go
abroad! or to be a little more sensible, a good quality
colour photo-copy and make sure it’s laminated (do a couple
of these along with your driving licence) so they can’t tell
the paper type.. Top Travellers tip.

For the first time, I saw wagons being inspected as they
left the port, probably looking for Albanians hidden away in
the trailers. There was still a few running around the port,
giving the police the runabout as the ferry was boarding.

Last night was also the first time in over two weeks that
I’ve
been able to have a conversation with someone, I really
enjoyed it, Cheers Gary, Hope the beer was to your liking.

I’m in a four bed cabin, and to be honest, I was half
expecting three sweaty Albanian truck drivers to be camped
out in my room when I go t back to it.

Given the smell that confronted me when I returned and
opened the door to the cabin, I can quite understand why
there isn’t, I would rather spend the night on the poop deck
too. For a level headed (ish) northern European, I really do
stink, my boots stink, my coat stinks, my pants (and I’ve
had these on for 15 days now!) stink, and not to put too
fine a point on it, I’m not the most pleasant person to be
around after the last couple of days at circa 30C. I
wouldn’t
care but I’ve been showering as often as I can, it must be
my body burning fat (I’m taking in about 1000 calories a
day) as I’m not eating nearly as much as I normally would.
That should have grossed you out a bit J I’ll be expecting
the pressure washer out on the drive when I get back, that
and Sue standing with a yard brush ready….

We dock at 12:00,

At 13:30 the ferry actually made contact with the harbour
ramp and the wagons started to disembark, it wasn’t the
most, ere organised event. The wagons were so close
together, the doors wouldn’t open, so there was a specific
order to the unloading, only the wagon drivers didn’t accept
this and they all tried to go together - anarchy!

I have to say that my past experiences of Italians was not
pleasant. We spent a week on an Italian cruise ship, and as
a populous they are not the easiest group to get on with.
Take a queue, simple concept, easy to follow, we brits have
it down to a fine art. In Italy, you join the front of the
queue, then shout a lot. Anyway, the concept of driving
hasn’t
sunk in, on the eastern side of the country anyway. Lane
discipline is trying to stay between the lines, it’s not
easy while drinking coffee, smoking and having a full
gesticulated conversation on the phone - at 130km/h. Here on
the west side they are a bit more like the French, well
mannered and flipping fast!

Tonight I in in northern Italy about 20 miles the wrong side
of Genova and maybe an hour away from France. I have 1300km
to go, so I’ll be reaching Portugal either late Saturday or
early Sunday - and be back in the UK on Monday…..

While I’ve been blasting through all these different
countries, with wide and divers cultures, the country side
changes very subtly, and sometimes it’s very difficult to
know when you’ve crossed a border. But there is one definite
change that happens in every country, and it’s taken me 20
countries to work it out. Are you ready for this, it will
amaze you, you’d better sit down..

Electricity pylons, I know, who’d ‘ave thought it? It’s true
though, you look next time you leave the UK. And that’s my
thought for the night.

Buona notte

PS - Portugal is very close, the Mileage Game closes at the
time of the Portugal blog. It will be in the next couple of
days, so get your guesses in.

Greece is just the best for real biker roads, not the sort
of smooth race track type tarmac rubbish that anyone can
ride fast on, I mean the sort of switchback, hairpins, and
hairpins with a 20 foot rise in them, add to that the odd
sump full of some poor demised ancient car, undulating
surfaces, the odd horse, donkey, dog, cat or any other
animal that could possibly be wild in this great country, oh
and the fact that they like to drive on the left here,
whilst going round corners (the tighter the corner, the more
to the left) and of course (as anyone who has been to Greece
will know) the nice shiny, glass like surfaces and you have
just about got it. Then try to do this at 50mph - Bloody
fantastic! At least I found out what colour adrenalin is..

I had 100 miles of this type of road through the mountains
today, on the way to the ferry port, and I just fell in love
with it, it beats the Pyrenees hands down.

I write this blog from the ferry port where not 30 minutes
ago I witnessed first hand the arrest of 19 illegal
immigrants out the back of a trunk, I was on the phone to
Sue at the time, and she got the full running commentary,
soldiers, police, dogs, plain cloths, handcuffs and lots of
guns, It was brilliant to see, although I was the only
person who looked remotely interested (while trying to keep
an aloof air so as not to attract attention to the fact I
was reporting the whole unfolding story to Sue) in any of
it.

I also need to tell you of my trip through the Romanian
mountains, in the dark (yes with a smoked visor, tut, tut).
The roads are more like the forest tracks at home, dusty,
pot holed, and full of traffic. The bike had the measure
early on, the rider took a little longer. So here I am
working my way through the traffic (a truck had broken down
in one of the high passes so it was as busy as M&S on
Christmas Eve), bouncing over the rough terrain, when I came
across five or six UN trucks going at a good rate of knots,
I really struggled to keep up with them but eventually got
past them at another (the 10th I think) set of traffic
lights. I stayed there for a good 30 minutes before they
were on my tail, and would you believe the dammed things
passed me. It really was some of the best driving I’ve seen,
even by car standards, it’s a pity they couldn’t export this
kind of skill!!! Then I suppose if you are driving through a
war zone, it kinda sharpens your abilities. I take my hat
off to these guys, brilliant.

So, I’m waiting for the ferry (typing this at the dockside)
to Ancona in Italy. Should be there for 12 on Thursday, and
within a 100 or so miles of France by the close of the day.
Sunday looks good for Portugal, then home for Wednesday.
It’s
been a long trip and I’m missing Sue and Amy, so this is the
last push now. I’ve no planned stops (other than maybe a new
tyre) and I’m heading to good roads, if a little costly..

I like ferry ports, there are always loads of bikers about.
I met this really friendly bunch from Germany. I’d seen then
earlier in
the day on the mountain road. They have bee to Crete and are
heading home. As is usual around this bike of mine, there
was much
compairing and looking. I do like this bike, it has a
certian
something……

So from Greece, Avtio.

Darren: There is never a comms engineer around when you need one, anyone know one?

Going to be a short Blog, forgot to charge the laptop again!

I left Romania early today and headed south, crossing into
Bulgaria at 2ish, after waiting for the ferry skipper to
finish his lunch! Two ruddy hours. No rush then, for him, me
or the 30 or so other vehicles waiting to cross.

Anyway made it into Bulgaria, and I’m sad to say it was a
race to the border, Greece. I wanted to be in a position to
catch the ferry to Italy on Wednesday night so that means I
had to make Greece Today.

I’ll tell you all about my day in tomorrows blog - promise

Gota go before the battery goes..

N44 37.465 E022 37.939 49 meters - Just south of the
Carpathian Mountains

CRAP!

It all started just after midnight, I had front row seats to
a huge electrical storm over the other side of the Lake,
then the torrential rain came, then the thunder.

…and it started all over again, and lasted until just
before 6

So with last nights 3 hours sleep I braced myself for
de-camping in the rain, oh and those pesky insects that were
still swarming all over the place. Got myself dressed, got
everything ready to chuck on the bike.

And the rain stopped.

Great, another good day to come?

Nope.

I followed the storm all the way East to Romania, on rapidly
deteriorating roads.

My tent was soaked and I didn’t fancy another day in the
wet, especially on severally pot holed roads - far to
dangerous, and still a long way to go. So I re-routed and I’ve
by passed Bran Castle, heading south in the better weather
and Bulgaria. A quick reprogram of the GPS, yep I’ll be in
Bulgaria by 6 - great.

I never realised just how bad main roads could actually
become, to say they are bad doesn’t really build the right
picture, and once in the mountains there wasn’t a surface at
all, as they have decided to take it all away in preparation
for a nice new surface, all 100 miles of it. I didn’t quite
know which would give in first the bike or the rider, but
after 50 miles or so ( and the nice Austrian man getting out
of his car at the 15th set of traffic lights to tell be it
gets worse) I got the measure of these roads, just treat
them like a motocross track, so I’ve just done 50 or so
miles in the dirt at crazy speeds. It was preferable to the
trunks trying to pass me, or the cars breaking heavily at
every drop off, rut or bump. I have lovely panda eyes from
all the dust, my arms ache, my legs ache and I can hardly
keep my eyes open.

So it’s 11 O’Clock now and I’m still a coupe of hours ride
from the border, the Bulgarian border that is, I could spit
to Serbia right now, it’s just across the water.

For the past 3 or four hours I’ve been looking for a hotel,
motel or even a campsite (if needs must) and I finally found
one open (not run down, closed down or just go away) and
with a room. I rode the bike through the beer garden
(sending women, small children, cows, goats, wild dogs,
chickens, geese, turkeys, horses and one or two burly
Romanian blokes - fleeing for cover) and popped the bike on
it’s stand just outside the reception area and locked it up.
It was about this time that a rather dodgy looking Romanian
came waltzing over (Oh bugger, I’m in for it now) and in no
uncertain terms told me to move the bike to the bit that was
under cover, when I pointed out it was full of tables (and
one or two people) he barked some commands and three or four
other Romanians appeared and moved said tables, chairs and
the remaining people, so that my bike could have a nice dry
birth for the night, under the watchful eye of reception.

Now he is just a jolly decent chap, or he doesn’t want his
new acquisition getting wet over night - we shall see in the
morning.

This bloke looks to be in charge, although he is drinking at
a table (away from the rest of the rabble) with a few other
blokes of equally dubious character. I wonder if I’ve
stumbled into the local mafia run hotel, I’ve checked the
bed and there is definitely room for a horses head in there
with me,,gupl!

Dobranoc